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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25220857">Are You Here Right Now?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinterSky101/pseuds/WinterSky101'>WinterSky101</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Defiance (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Found Family, Friendship, Gen, Happy Birthday Autumn!!!, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kidnapping, Male-Female Friendship, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:33:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,066</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25220857</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinterSky101/pseuds/WinterSky101</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Pilar is back, and she wants to take Luke. Alak, Irisa, and Berlin aren't about to let that happen.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Irisa Nyira/Jessica "Berlin" Rainer, Irisa Nyria &amp; Jessica "Berlin" Rainer &amp; Alak Tarr, Minor or Background Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Are You Here Right Now?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/mistyautumn/gifts">mistyautumn</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AUTUMN!</p><p>I hope you're having an amazing day! Remember <a href="https://winterskywrites.tumblr.com/post/190984852556/alak-defiance-do-you-believe-what-youre">these</a> <a href="https://winterskywrites.tumblr.com/post/613229107669581824/can-i-get-a-sequel-to-pilar-possibly-being-alive">prompts</a>? You said once that you could read pages and pages of the story, so I hope you meant it, because somehow this ended up being about 22 pages. I still have no idea how that happened. I hope you enjoy it!</p><p>The title comes from "Satin In A Coffin" by Modest Mouse, just like the original prompt did.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alak bursts into the lawkeeper's office, eyes wide and frantic, Luke in his arms. He hurtles over to Irisa immediately, almost falling over before Berlin grabs him to steady him.</p><p>"Alak?" Irisa demands, grabbing his shoulder. "Are you alright?"</p><p>Alak stares at her, clearly terrified. "Pilar is alive."</p><p>Irisa gapes at him. "She- Alak, she can't be. Nolan shot her in the throat. She couldn't have survived-"</p><p>"I <em>saw</em> her," Alak insists, half hysterical. "I saw her, Irisa. She's alive, and she's here. She knows where I am. She knows where <em>Luke</em> is. She's going to come for him again."</p><p>"Alak," Berlin says gently, "if Nolan shot her in the throat-"</p><p>"I know what I saw!" Alak cries. "You think I can't recognize that woman, after she kept me chained to a table for <em>months</em>? Pilar is <em>here</em>."</p><p>"But-"</p><p>"Did you see a body?" Alak asks Irisa sharply. "You said Nolan shot her. Did you see a body?"</p><p>"We-"</p><p>"<em>Did you see a body</em>?"</p><p>Irisa lets out a long breath. "No. I didn't see her body."</p><p>"Then you don't know that she's dead," Alak says. "So don't tell me not to worry, because you don't <em>know</em>."</p><p>"Alak-"</p><p>"She took Luke from me before!" Alak yells. "She took him away, and I am not going to let her take him again. I-" He sags suddenly, like he's a puppet and someone's cut his strings. "Irisa, I can't take that. I can't lose Luke again, I <em>can't</em>."</p><p>Irisa swallows. "Do you believe what you're saying?"</p><p>"Yeah," Alak says. "Right now, yeah. Not that often, but I swear to you, Irisa, I am telling the truth. I saw Pilar. She's here."</p><p>"Then we'll protect you," Irisa promises. "You and Luke. Pilar will never get her hands on either of you again, I promise you that."</p><p>Alak clutches Luke tighter. "Thank you."</p><p>"You can stay with us, if you don't want to go home," Berlin offers. "Pilar might know you're in Defiance, but she doesn't have to know which house you're in."</p><p>Alak nods, bobbing his head up and down a little frantically. "Thank you."</p><p>"Alak," Irisa says, grabbing his arm and squeezing lightly, "she's not going to touch you or Luke. I'll shoot her again before I let that happen."</p><p>Alak nods again, somewhat less frantically this time. "I know," he says. "Thank you, Irisa."</p><p>"Why don't we go back to your place to get some supplies, then you can bring it over to our apartment and get yourself and Luke settled?" Berlin offers. "You can even borrow a gun, in case Pilar tries anything."</p><p>"That sounds good," Alak agrees, and Berlin leads him off to the armory to get a gun. Irisa watches them go, then she sits down at her desk and starts making plans.</p><p>If Pilar is here - and she believes Alak when he says she is - then Irisa's got a lot of work to do to make sure she never <em>ever</em> hurts anyone Irisa loves ever again.</p>
<hr/><p>Berlin didn't really know Alak the first time he dealt with Pilar. She knew of him, and they'd met, but they weren't close. She's honestly not sure how close they are now - Alak is more Irisa's friend than hers - but she likes him, and even if she didn't, she wouldn't leave him alone when he's clearly upset.</p><p>Given what she knows about Pilar, she can't really blame him for being panicked. From what she knows, Pilar was Christie's mom, and she kidnapped Christie and Alak back when Christie was still pregnant with Luke. She held them for months, apparently keeping Alak chained to a table, until they were attacked by the Votanis Collective, at which time Christie died and Alak went on the run with Pilar and Luke. Somehow, Alak ended up a prisoner of the VC, while Pilar kept Luke until she was found by Nolan and Irisa, who rescued the baby and allegedly killed Pilar. Alak doesn't like to talk abut any of that, but Berlin still remembers the time she and Irisa stayed at Alak's after a late night and his screaming nightmares woke everyone in the house. Berlin knows trauma when she sees it, and Alak is definitely traumatized.</p><p>Luke gurgles, tugging at Alak's hair, and Alak seems to jerk back to reality. He's been sitting on the couch, staring out into space, his body insanely tense. Now, his eyes find Berlin, then jerk to the door.</p><p>"No news from Irisa yet," Berlin says, making Alak's eyes jerk back to her. "But she's promised she'll call me if she sees any sign of Pilar. Are you hungry? I was going to make lunch."</p><p>Alak hesitates for a moment, then nods, just slightly. "If you don't mind."</p><p>"I was just going to reheat leftovers from last night," Berlin replies, crossing to the kitchen. "Irisa always makes enough food for a dozen people, so we have leftovers for days. Do you want me to get something for Luke? Uh, milk or something?"</p><p>"I brought some of his food over," Alak says, standing and crossing to the bag of supplies he brought from his place. He digs around in a bit, then he pulls out a small jar and a spoon. "Applesauce is his favorite."</p><p>"You can sit anywhere to feed him," Berlin replies. The table is covered in stuff, and there are only two chairs. Berlin is uncomfortably aware how plain the apartment that she and Irisa share is, especially compared to the lavish McCawley house that Alak lives in. If Alak stays the night, he'll probably need to sleep on the couch, since there's only the one bed. Berlin knows Alak doesn't mind, but she also knows that he grew up in a house just as lavish as the one he lives in now, if not more, and she's sure her apartment seems fairly pathetic in comparison.</p><p>Alak sits down in one of the chairs, Luke in his lap, and opens the jar of applesauce. Luke burbles his approval as Alak fills up a spoon and holds it out for him. He does seem to like the applesauce, and even better, Alak visibly relaxes as he feeds his son. Berlin's shoulders were hurting just looking at him.</p><p>Irisa enters the apartment just as Berlin starts reheating the second plate of food. "I didn't see Pilar," she says, "but I did find some evidence that she might be hiding out in one of the abandoned buildings on the edge of town. There's definitely someone squatting there, at least."</p><p>Alak's shoulders tense right up again. "What do we do?"</p><p>"I've put all the deputies on alert," Irisa says, sitting down in the other chair. "If there's so much as a whisper about her, we'll hear it. We're keeping an eye on the buildings too, just in case. Other than that, I'm not sure what else we can do. I was hoping you guys might have some ideas."</p><p>"Which building?" Berlin asks, trying to clear at least a bit of the table so they can eat at it.</p><p>"One of the old mining offices," Irisa replies. "From the look of it, no one's used it in years."</p><p>"What did you find there?" Alak asks.</p><p>"Blankets, food, some extra ammunition," Irisa lists off. "I took the ammo, but Pilar probably has some on her, as well as whatever weapon she has."</p><p>Alak nods, looking a little bit like he might throw up. Berlin is more focused on Irisa, though. She's pretty sure she's holding something back, but Berlin doesn't know what. She'll have to ask later. If Irisa is holding something back, Berlin wouldn't be surprised to find out it's something she thinks would upset Alak. She'll ask when they have a moment alone.</p><p>"So what can we do?" Alak asks.</p><p>Before Irisa can answer, Luke makes an irritated noise, waving his fat little fists in displeasure. Alak looks down at him, then at the spoon of baby food in his other hand. Luke calms down the second he gets a mouthful of applesauce.</p><p>"I think you should focus on Luke," Irisa says, a bit of a grin on her face. "He clearly wants some attention. Right now, I think the best thing to do is wait and see if we can get more information."</p><p>"Wait?" Alak repeats, looking distressed at the idea. "Irisa-"</p><p>"Alak, trust me," Irisa says gently. "Rushing in right now isn't the right decision. We need to know what we're rushing into first."</p><p>Berlin sets a plate down in front of Alak, then sets the other in front of Irisa before heading back over to get the third she's heated up for herself. "Right now, we should eat," she says. "All of us."</p><p>"Once we have more information, we'll make a plan," Irisa assures Alak. "We won't let her take you again."</p><p>Alak swallows, then nods. "Thanks."</p><p>Irisa pats his arm. "Any time."</p>
<hr/><p>Berlin and Irisa are both out when the knock comes at the door, and then comes and comes and comes after Alak ignores it. On the fifth knock, Alak finally starts making his way over to the door, a gun in his hand. This probably isn't Pilar, but it doesn't hurt to be careful. Luke is sleeping in the bedroom, and Alak will die before he lets anyone get to him.</p><p>He opens the door a crack, spots who's on the other side, and immediately slams it shut.</p><p>"Alak," his mother scolds. "Your father and I just want to know what's going on. We noticed that you're staying with the lawkeepers. What's wrong with your house? Why wouldn't you come to us if you needed something?"</p><p>Alak leans against the door and locks it. The door isn't soundproof, though, so that doesn't do anything to block out his mother's voice on the other side.</p><p>"Whatever it is, we can help," Stahma offers. "Honestly, Alak, stop being ridiculous and open the door. I am your <em>mother</em>."</p><p>"Unfortunately," Alak grumbles, low enough that Stahma won't be able to hear it. He knows that responding will only give her ammunition, but he's not sure how long he can keep himself from doing so.</p><p>"Alak," Stahma says cajolingly, "just open the door and let me in. You know your father and I can help you with any trouble you've gotten yourself into. We'll be able to do more for you than the lawkeepers can."</p><p>Alak straightens, about to walk away from the door, when Stahma says, "<em>Alak</em>," in the voice that used to mean he was in trouble, and he can't help but freeze. "You are being absurd," Stahma continues, her voice suddenly cold. "Open this door, <em>now</em>. You are my son. You will not leave me out here like this."</p><p>For an instant, the frightened child inside Alak wants to open the door, wants to fix things before they get out of hand, wants to placate his mother before things get worse- But Alak is an adult now, not that child, and his mother had no hold over him. If he doesn't want to see her, he doesn't have to.</p><p>And given amount of stress he feels right now about seeing Pilar, he is most definitely <em>not</em> emotionally prepared to deal with his mother.</p><p>"Fine," Stahma says sharply. "You want to be uncooperative? Keep the door shut. But I will be telling your father about this, and he isn't nearly as patient as I am."</p><p>Alak waits by the door until he hears Stahma storm away, then he staggers over to the couch. He reaches for a communicator to call Irisa, then pauses. Is he overreacting? He probably is. She's his <em>mother</em>, after all. Should he have let her in?</p><p>"No," he tells himself, speaking out loud in the hope that it makes the words resonate more. "She's not part of my life anymore. She has no right to be part of my life. I don't need to let her in if I don't want to."</p><p>And Stahma <em>did</em> just imply that she would have Datak come and break down the door, so Alak thinks he should probably tell Irisa that her apartment has been threatened.</p><p><em>"Alak?"</em> Irisa asks, picking up immediately. <em>"Is something wrong?"</em></p><p>"My mom just came over," Alak says, hoping his voice doesn't shake. "She, uh, kinda threatened to have my dad come over and break down your door, so I thought I should let you know."</p><p><em>"Shtako,"</em> Irisa swears. <em>"As if we don't have enough to deal with."</em></p><p>"Sorry," Alak apologizes. "She only did it because I wouldn't let her in. Maybe-"</p><p><em>"It's not your fault,"</em> Irisa interrupts. <em>"I wouldn't let your mother in either. Do you think her threat is serious?"</em></p><p>Alak thinks about it for a moment. Will Datak <em>actually</em> come and break down Irisa and Berlin's door? His gut reaction is that yes, he absolutely will, but he tries to think it through logically before saying that to Irisa. Is it the logical answer?</p><p>He can't help but think it is. The scar on his hand is a reminder that there's little his father won't do.</p><p>"I wouldn't put it past them," Alak says. "I don't know for sure, but…"</p><p><em>"But the idea of your dad breaking down my door isn't out of the question,"</em> Irisa finishes. <em>"I can send someone over to your parents' place, if you want. I don't know how much good it'll do, but I can try."</em></p><p>"I think I should leave," Alak replies. "The whole point of me being here was so Pilar wouldn't know where I was, but if my parents know where I am, couldn't she know too?"</p><p><em>"Just because your parents know doesn't mean Pilar does,"</em> Irisa replies. <em>"And Alak… Your house was her house first. I think she's more likely to go there."</em></p><p>Alak swallows. He hadn't thought about that. The idea almost makes him want to never go back. That's ridiculous, he knows, but he can't help but feel it.</p><p>"Okay," he says. "I'll stay here. What should I do if my dad tries to break down the door?"</p><p><em>"Lock the door and don't open it for anyone,"</em> Irisa replies. <em>"If it's me or Berlin or someone else we sent, there'll be three knocks, then a pause, and then two more. If it's anything but that, don't open the door."</em></p><p>"Okay." Alak nods, even though he knows Irisa can't see it. He hesitates a moment, then asks, "Have you found anything?"</p><p><em>"We're still looking,"</em> Irisa says, which means no. <em>"We're not going to let her win, Alak. She's not taking Luke away from you."</em></p><p>"I know," Alak agrees. And he does, he trusts Irisa, but…</p><p>But Pilar kept him chained to a table for <em>weeks</em>, and he knows she wants Luke, and he is <em>terrified</em> that she'll win, no matter what they try to do to stop her.</p><p><em>"It's gonna be fine,"</em> Irisa promises, and Alak tries to believe her.</p>
<hr/><p>"Who was that?" Berlin asks when Irisa comes back from the corner she tucked herself into to take her call.</p><p>"Alak," Irisa replies, which Berlin probably should have expected. "Apparently, his mom showed up, and when Alak didn't let her in, she said she'd send Datak to break the door down."</p><p>Berlin groans. "Those two are the worst."</p><p>"Absolutely," Irisa agrees.</p><p>"Speaking of Alak," Berlin says slowly, "what were you holding back before?"</p><p>Irisa shoots her a look. "What do you mean?"</p><p>"When you were talking about what you found in the mining office, you were definitely holding something back," Berlin says. "My guess is it was something you didn't want to tell Alak. What was it?"</p><p>Irisa shifts slightly. "I didn't lie. I just… didn't elaborate."</p><p>"Will you elaborate now?"</p><p>Irisa sighs. "I did find blankets and food and ammo. But some of the food was baby food."</p><p>Berlin's heart sinks. "That means it's almost definitely Pilar."</p><p>"And it means she's got her sights set on Luke," Irisa agrees. "I figured it would freak Alak out, so I didn't mention it."</p><p>"Probably a good idea," Berlin agrees.</p><p>"I've never seen him this freaked out before," Irisa says. Berlin can see how much it's killing her not to be able to do something active to help. To be fair, Berlin doesn't like it very much either. She wants to find Pilar and stop her, not just wait around and search. She wants to <em>do</em> something.</p><p>Unfortunately, there's not much they can do right now, as little as Berlin and Irisa may like that thought.</p><p>"We'll stop her," Berlin says. "But right now, maybe we should do something about Datak. You told Alak you'd send someone to his parents' house, right?"</p><p>"Do you think it'll help?" Irisa counters. "Alak didn't say if he thought I should do it or not. And I don't want to divert resources if I don't have to."</p><p>"I can go," Berlin offers. "We don't really need both of us managing things here. I can just pop down, try to keep Datak from causing property damage, then come right back here."</p><p>Irisa hesitates a moment. "The Tarrs are dangerous."</p><p>"They already hate me," Berlin replies. "And I can take care of myself."</p><p>"Fine," Irisa agrees. "But be careful."</p><p>Berlin nods. "I will."</p><p>The Tarrs' house is conveniently close to the lawkeeper's office, so it's not a long walk there. Berlin knocks on the door, which is answered by an unfamiliar Castithan servant girl. She curtsies slightly. "Yes?"</p><p>"I'm here to speak to Datak and Stahma Tarr," Berlin says. "Are they in?"</p><p>The girl looks quickly over her shoulder, then she leans forward and whispers, "They're… not in the best mood right now. I would suggest you come back later."</p><p>"I think the reason I'm here might be the reason they're in a bad mood," Berlin replies, stepping past the girl and into the house. "Why don't you go tell them I want to talk?"</p><p>The girl ducks her head quickly, then scurries off into the house. A minute later, she returns, looking more nervous than ever, with Datak and Stahma behind her.</p><p>"Miss Rainer," Stahma says with the sickly sweet smile that always makes Berlin feel almost ill. "To what do we owe this honor?"</p><p>Berlin refuses to play nice. "Did you think you could threaten my friend in my house without me knowing about it?"</p><p>Stahma's smile freezes. Datak, who's always been worse at hiding his expressions, scowls. "I'm sure we don't know what you're talking about," he says. "And those are heavy accusations to throw around."</p><p>"Alak called Irisa after you left, Stahma," Berlin says. "He told her that you tried to harass him into letting you in, and when he refused, you threatened to send Datak here to break down the door."</p><p>Even Stahma is having a bit of trouble keeping her face blank at that. "I said no such thing."</p><p>"I think he said you implied it," Berlin replies. "But honestly, I'm not here to fight about whether or not you said it. I'm here to say that Irisa and I will be very displeased if our door ends up broken, and we will make sure the people responsible face consequences. I'm also here to tell you to leave Alak alone."</p><p>"He is our <em>son</em>," Stahma hisses, rage suddenly flaring in her eyes.</p><p>"Then maybe you should have acted like that before."</p><p>Datak visibly bristles. "How <em>dare</em>-"</p><p>"Don't harass Alak," Berlin interrupts. "Just leave him alone. If he wants to see you, he'll seek you out."</p><p>"He doesn't know what he wants," Stahma snaps.</p><p>"He's an adult. He's old enough to make his own decisions. And, for what it's worth, I think he's made some pretty good ones on his own."</p><p>That seems to Berlin like a good parting line, so she inclines her head the barest amount she can without being outright insulting and takes a step back. "Until next time," she says, then she leaves the house.</p><p>Whether it'll work or not, she has no idea, but honestly, just knowing it was <em>said</em> makes her feel better. Someone needs to call out the Tarrs on the way they treat Alak, and although she doubts they'll listen to her, that's not going to stop her from trying.</p>
<hr/><p>Irisa doesn't know if it means Berlin's threat worked or if they were never intending to do it in the first place, but no Castithans break down her door. Given the way a young Castithan girl Berlin identifies as the Tarrs' maid looks at them in the market, it's possible the threat may actually have something to do with it, which would be a first. Either way, it's a win.</p><p>It is, unfortunately, the only thing that seems to be going right for them today.</p><p>"How can we find no sign of her?" Irisa cries, patrolling with Berlin. "She's got to be here somewhere. We found where she was hiding out. Why can't we find her?"</p><p>"She's smart," Berlin says, sounding like the idea is very annoying. "But she'll have to slip up eventually."</p><p>"The question is, will she do it in time?" Irisa replies. "Pilar doesn't really strike me as the patient type, and she's already been waiting a long time. If she wants Luke, and it sure looks like she does, then she's going to try to take him, and soon. I'm not letting Alak go through that again."</p><p>"Neither am I," Berlin replies. "We're going to stop her, Irisa. We can do it."</p><p>But Berlin wasn't friends with Alak before, and she didn't see the way he struggled after his captivity with Pilar and later the VC. She didn't see how <em>fragile</em> he was at first, and how protective he was of Luke, like someone might come out at any moment and try to snatch him away. The way he is now reminds Irisa of the way he was then, and she hates to see it.</p><p>Before Irisa can even begin to explain that, though, Amanda comes up to them on their patrol, looking irritated. "Irisa, will you tell me what's going on? I've seen your deputies all over the place, but none of them will tell me what they're looking for."</p><p>Irisa looks over at Berlin. "Do they not realize the mayor counts as 'need to know'?"</p><p>"Apparently not," Berlin sighs.</p><p>Irisa looks back at Amanda, dropping her voice so no one around them should be able to overhear. "Remember Pilar? Rafe McCawley's ex-wife?"</p><p>"She kidnapped Christie and Alak," Amanda replies. "What about her? Isn't she dead?"</p><p>"Apparently not," Irisa replies. "It seems like she's back, and she's after Luke again. Maybe Alak too, but definitely Luke. Alak is staying at our place for now, and we've got the deputies out looking for Pilar. I think we've found where she's been staying, but she hasn't come back there, so maybe we were wrong."</p><p>Amanda looks solemn. She's grown fond of Alak, Irisa knows, despite - or perhaps partially because of - the fact that she hates his parents. It's not hard to grow fond of Alak, after all. And of course everyone loves Luke, and Amanda is no exception.</p><p>"Should I do something?" she asks. "As mayor? Is there anything I can do?"</p><p>"Not really," Irisa replies. "We're trying to keep things quiet for now. Pilar hopefully doesn't know that we know she's here. If she doesn't know we know, she won't be as careful, and we can catch her."</p><p>"If you need anything, I'll be there," Amanda promises. "I'm guessing it's not common knowledge that Alak is at your apartment?"</p><p>"The thought was to hide him somewhere unexpected," Berlin explains. "Somewhere Pilar wouldn't expect, at least. But the Tarrs know, so who knows how long it'll actually stay a secret."</p><p>Amanda's mouth twists the way it always does when someone brings up Datak or Stahma Tarr. "Let me deal with the Tarrs. I've figured out a few ways over the years."</p><p>"That would be appreciated," Berlin says dryly.</p><p>"Keep Alak and Luke safe," Amanda adds.</p><p>Irisa nods. "We'll do our best."</p><p>Amanda nods in farewell, then leaves, heading back to her office. Irisa hopes she's going to draft some sort of legislation banning Datak and Stahma from Defiance, even though she knows it'll never happen. After everything that's happened, Irisa doesn't think anything is going to pry Datak and Stahma from this town, unfortunately.</p><p>Still, it's nice to hope.</p><p>"Let's go back and check on Alak," Berlin suggests. "We can tell him the newest updates."</p><p>"That we have nothing new to report?" Irisa asks dryly.</p><p>"It's still news," Berlin replies. "Come on. You need a break. And I know you don't want to take one, but we do need to check on Alak and Luke, so let's go do that before we go back to work."</p><p>Irisa sighs deeply. "Okay. But first, let's go check on the mining offices. Maybe Pilar has come back."</p><p>"If you want to," Berlin agrees. "Do you really think she'll be back?"</p><p>"I don't know, but it's worth looking into."</p><p>Berlin reaches over and gives Irisa's hand a gentle squeeze. "We're gonna fix this. I promise."</p><p>Irisa sighs. "I just hope we fix it in time."</p>
<hr/><p>Alak has been pacing for at least a solid ten minutes when Irisa and Berlin come back to their apartment. "Any news?" he demands immediately, rushing forward.</p><p>"We checked out the mining office where we think she's been staying," Irisa says. "No one was there, but it looked like someone had been there since the last time I checked. I have people guarding it, but none of them saw anything."</p><p>Alak barely keeps himself from tugging at his own hair. He knows he has to stay inside for Luke's safety and his own, but the apartment is small and cramped, and that's starting to get to him. He just wants to go <em>home</em>, but he doesn't dare risk it, not yet.</p><p>"We talked to Amanda," Berlin offers. "She said she'll deal with your parents, so they don't bother you anymore."</p><p>"They're not the ones I'm really worried about right now," Alak counters. "I mean, yeah, they're awful, but I'm more focused on Pilar."</p><p>"We're doing everything we can," Irisa says, and she looks so exhausted that Alak immediately deflates. This isn't exactly pleasant for anyone, after all. Maybe he's stuck here, but Irisa and Berlin are out searching tirelessly for Pilar. He's lucky to have them.</p><p>"Look," Berlin says, stepping forward. "We're going to figure this out. Alak, can you think of anywhere else Pilar might go while she's here?"</p><p>"Um…" Alak tries to think, tries to cast his mind back to those weeks of captivity to see if he can remember any specific places in Defiance Pilar talked about. "Maybe her old house? And… Maybe the diner where Christie worked?"</p><p>"I'll set officers there," Irisa declares.</p><p>"Are we sure Pilar doesn't know I'm here?" Alak asks.</p><p>"She shouldn't," Irisa replies. "Unless she's got an informant in town, but even then, most people don't know you're here."</p><p>"If people saw my mom at the door-"</p><p>"Alak," Berlin says, stepping forward and taking Alak by the shoulders, "you're safe."</p><p>And then, as if to immediately contradict that, the window shatters.</p><p>For a moment, the three of them are frozen, then Irisa moves with incredible speed, pulling out a knife and settling into a defensive position. Next to her, Berlin moves similarly, then her eyes widen and she yells, "Shut your eyes and cover your ears!"</p><p>Alak follows her instructions just before the flashbang goes off.</p><p>The thing that saves them is that the grenade is clearly homemade, and not nearly as effective as a military-grade one. It's loud and bright and disorienting, but it could be much worse. The thing that screws them is the heat of it sets the papers on Irisa and Berlin's table on fire.</p><p>"Get Luke and get out!" Irisa yells as Berlin starts trying to put out the fire. "Go! We'll be right behind you!"</p><p>It might well be a trap, but the alternative is staying in a burning building. Alak stumbles away, blinking through the spots in his vision, and runs into the bedroom where Luke is sleeping. He's clearly wailing, but Alak can barely hear him through the ringing in his ears. He ignores that and staggers out of the back door of the apartment, his son in his arms.</p><p>Pilar is waiting for him.</p><p>Alak's heart almost stops. He knew it could be a trap, but still, seeing Pilar is terrifying. "You."</p><p>"I thought that would flush you out," Pilar says. "Give me the baby."</p><p>"No," Alak says, holding Luke tightly to his chest with one hand and reaching for the gun tucked into his pants with the other.</p><p>Pilar pulls out her gun before Alak can pull out his. "Give me my grandson."</p><p>"You won't shoot me," Alak says, his voice shaking. "You could hit Luke. You won't risk that."</p><p>Pilar sighs. "Maybe, but I will shoot them."</p><p>Alak whirls around and sees that Irisa and Berlin are behind him, both armed but frozen. Behind them, smoke is still billowing out the back door.</p><p>"This is very simple," Pilar says. "Give me Luke."</p><p>"No way in hell," Irisa snaps.</p><p>"This isn't about you," Pilar says. "Alak. Give me the baby and no one will get hurt."</p><p>"No," Alak says again. "He's my son. You have no right-"</p><p>"He's my grandson!" Pilar yells. "My whole family is <em>dead</em>, thanks to yours. He's all I have left."</p><p>"He's all I have left too!" Alak cries. "And you're evil. I'm not-"</p><p>"What, you think I'm evil because of what Rafe says about me?" Pilar asks derisively.</p><p>"I think you're evil because you kidnapped me and chained me to a table!"</p><p>"You're not going to win," Irisa says. "Someone will realize what's going on here, and they'll come and stop you. You're not getting Luke."</p><p>"The question is," Pilar says, "who will get here first, your reinforcements or mine?"</p><p>Alak shoots Irisa a worried look. He sees a flash of white out of the corner of his eye, then something sharp hits him in the neck. Almost immediately, his muscles begin to weaken, and when Pilar steps forward and plucks Luke out of his arms, he can't do anything to stop her. Behind him, Irisa and Berlin seem to be similarly affected, Berlin falling to her knees.</p><p>"I guess mine won," Pilar says, bouncing Luke on her hip.</p><p>"Give him back," Alak says, trying to stumble forward. His muscles don't cooperate, though, so his legs give out before he can even take a single step.</p><p>"I'm not going to hurt him," Pilar says. "He's going to be very happy with me."</p><p>"He's my <em>son</em>," Alak begs, hating the way his voice breaks on the word, hating that he's begging from Pilar at all. "Please-"</p><p>"He's my grandson," Pilar says. "He's all I have of my daughter."</p><p>"He's all I have of my wife," Alak counters. "Pilar-"</p><p>Luke wails, and Pilar bounces him and coos. Alak tries to drag himself forward. Behind him, Berlin is unconscious, and Irisa seems to be barely hanging onto consciousness herself. Alak feels similarly, but he can't give up, he can't, that's his <em>son</em>-</p><p>But his head is swimming, and his muscles are weakening, and he can't help but close his eyes.</p><p>The last thing he sees is Pilar kiss Luke on the cheek.</p>
<hr/><p>So it turns out that Pilar is a better strategist than Irisa gave her credit for. Honestly, Irisa would almost be impressed, except for the fact that she's currently locked in a room with Berlin, who's still unconscious, and Alak, who's halfway into a panic attack.</p><p>Luke isn't with them, which is definitely at least three quarters of the reason for Alak's panicking. To be fair, it's also making Irisa panic, but she's better at forcing herself to work through it than Alak is.</p><p>Berlin groans, her head turning in Irisa's lap, and Irisa briefly turns her attention from Alak to her girlfriend. "Hey, Berlin, are you awake?"</p><p>"Sort of wishing I weren't," Berlin groans. "What happened?"</p><p>"Pilar happened," Alak says, his voice tight. "And now she's got all three of us, and she's got Luke, and we can't get out of this <em>goddamned room</em>-"</p><p>"Alak, it's going to be okay," Irisa says, reaching one hand out to grasp his. "We're going to get out of here, and we'll get Luke back."</p><p>"You can't promise that," Alak hisses. "For all you know, Pilar is already gone with Luke, and we'll never see either of them again."</p><p>"I don't think so," Berlin disagrees.</p><p>"How do you know?"</p><p>"Because I can hear Luke crying."</p><p>Alak's face goes even paler than usual. He goes so silent he hardly seems to be breathing, and in the quiet, Irisa's also able to hear the barely-there sound of Luke wailing. He's definitely still here, and that means Pilar is probably still here too.</p><p>And as long as that's the case, Irisa can come up with a plan.</p><p>"Alright," she says, "we're not tied up, so when Pilar comes, I vote we rush her. Berlin, can you move over so I can check if I've still got a knife in my boot?"</p><p>"What if she has a gun?" Alak asks. "And how do you know she's going to come?"</p><p>"She knocked us out instead of killing us, and she locked us in a closet in the same building she's in," Irisa says, taking off her boot and checking the false sole. "She could have left us in the street, but she didn't. She wants us here, for some reason. She's going to come. And I've got a knife."</p><p>She pulls out the knife triumphantly. Berlin rolls her eyes. "Of course you've got a knife hidden in your boot."</p><p>"You never know when you'll need it," Irisa replies. "Here, you can take this. I'm better at hand-to-hand than you are."</p><p>"Just for that, I'm going to kick your ass in sparring tomorrow," Berlin says, but she takes the knife anyway. Part of Irisa wants to give the knife to Alak, who's definitely the worst at hand-to-hand of the three of them, but she's not also not sure he's in any state to be trusted with a sharp object. She's pretty sure he's shaking too much for that.</p><p>"I hear footsteps," Alak says, his face drawn. "Coming towards us."</p><p>"Get behind us," Irisa says, trying to wiggle around Alak so she's closer to the door. Berlin stands next to her, knife at the ready.</p><p>"I can fight," Alak protests from behind them. "I want to stop Pilar. I <em>need</em> to stop her."</p><p>"We'll stop her," Irisa says. "If you have the opportunity, get out and run. Find Luke, and then get out of here and get help."</p><p>Alak swallows visibly and nods. Irisa reaches for his hand and gives it a squeeze, then she balls up her fists as the footsteps come to a stop right outside the door.</p><p>Irisa promised herself that she wouldn't let Pilar hurt anyone she loved. She failed. But now that she's got the chance to make Pilar pay for it…</p><p>Well, she's not going to let herself fail at that.</p><p>The door swings open, and Irisa prepares to fight, but the figure on the other side isn't who she expected. It's not Pilar. It's a young Castithan girl, one whose appearance makes both Alak and Berlin hiss in sharp breaths. It takes Irisa a moment to recognize her, but when she does, she's just as shocked.</p><p>"But you're the Tarrs' maid!"</p><p>"Falje," Alak says, "what are you doing here? Did my parents-"</p><p>"Your parents don't know anything about this," Falje says. "And they never will."</p><p>"Why would you do this?" Alak demands. "Where is my son?"</p><p>Falje scoffs. "Your <em>son</em>. Why would you dirty the blood of your <em>liro</em> by procreating with a human?" She spits. "You don't deserve to be part of the <em>shanje liro</em>. You should be <em>thawandayo</em>."</p><p>Irisa isn't quite sure what <em>thawandayo</em> means, but she can see the way Alak's fists clench, and she knows it must be harsh. She steps forward, trying to direct Falje's attention back to her.</p><p>"Where is Luke?"</p><p>"With his grandmother," Falje says. "He's a human, after all. He should live in their squalor, just like the other humans."</p><p>"He's my son," Alak snarls. "He's Castithan. He's-"</p><p>"A half-breed," Falje interrupts. "He's shameful. You brought shame on your <em>liro</em> by mingling with a human, and the longer you spend pretending that child could be Castithan, the more shame you heap on top. With him gone, maybe you can learn to be a proper Castithan again."</p><p>"He is my <em>son</em>," Alak repeats, and Irisa begins to wonder if she should restrain him. "He is-"</p><p>"Oh, stop fighting, you two," a new voice says, and Pilar strides down the hallway, Luke in her arms. Irisa can hear the air leave Alak's lungs like he's been punched. She shoots Berlin a look and hopes they're on the same page.</p><p>Their first priority is getting Luke and Alak out. Their second is making sure Pilar never hurts anyone else ever again.</p><p>"Give me back my son," Alak says to Pilar, but Irisa can hear how his voice is a little more tentative than it was before, a little less demanding. Fighting with Falje is one thing, but he's clearly still afraid of Pilar. Irisa doesn't blame him one bit.</p><p>"Don't you see why I can't leave him with you?" Pilar asks. "When there are people like that around? He's safer with me."</p><p>"He's my <em>son</em>," Alak says yet again, and this time, his voice breaks on the last word. "Please."</p><p>Irisa takes a step back, pressing against Berlin's side, and palms the knife back from her. Berlin lets her take it without a word or any other outward sign that anything's been done at all. Irisa wraps her fingers around the hilt and steels herself.</p><p>"Give Luke back," she says firmly. "Surrender."</p><p>"Why would we do that?" Falje demands. "You're pathetic, lawkeeper. You can't stop us."</p><p>Irisa ignores her, looking straight at Pilar. "Give Luke back."</p><p>"He's mine," Pilar replies. "He's all I have left."</p><p>Irisa nods. "Then we'll take him," she says, and in a lightning fast movement, she throws her knife at Falje.</p><p>Falje is too slow to dodge, and Irisa's aim is true, so the knife lodges just below her collarbone. It's not a fatal hit, but it's debilitating enough that when Irisa springs forward, Falje doesn't have time to defend herself before Irisa hits her in the back of the neck in just the right spot to make her crumple to the ground. The whole exchange only takes a few seconds, and by the time Falje is down, Pilar has only moved back a few steps.</p><p>"You're not going to attack me," she says, sounding more confident than Irisa thinks she should. "You wouldn't risk hurting Luke."</p><p>"Neither would you," Irisa counters, advancing slowly. "Hand him over."</p><p>"I've got him," Pilar counters. "Why would I give him up?"</p><p>"Because you know it's the right thing to do," Berlin says. "And because we will never stop trying to get him back."</p><p>Pilar pulls out a gun and raises it, pointing at Irisa. "You have no right to this child. You have no right to be involved in this. You won't attack me, but I will shoot."</p><p>"Give us Luke."</p><p>"No," Pilar says. "And if you say you'll never stop, then I'll just have to stop you."</p><p>In the next instant, four things happen at once: Pilar fires the gun, Irisa drops to the ground to avoid getting shot, Berlin rushes forward to try to grab Luke while Pilar is distracted, and Alak presses the knife to Pilar's throat.</p><p>Honestly, Irisa doesn't know how Alak even got behind Pilar, but he must have taken advantage of everyone's confusion. The knife is still wet with Falje's blood, and Alak looks terrified but his hand is steady.</p><p>"Give me my son," he whispers in Pilar's ear, "or I will slit your throat right now."</p><p>"And make me drop him?" Pilar counters. "You wouldn't risk it."</p><p>Alak looks up and makes eye contact with Berlin for a moment, then he looks back at Pilar. "We'll catch him," he says, and before Irisa can stop him, he slashes open Pilar's throat.</p><p>Berlin lunges forward, grabbing Luke from Pilar's weakened arms. Pilar's eyes are wide, and blood is spurting out of the severed artery in her neck. She starts to fall, and Alak catches her, lowering her to the ground.</p><p>"I just-" Pilar is gasping, and her face is rapidly paling from the blood loss. "I wanted- My grandson-"</p><p>"I know," Alak says, and Irisa is struck with how gentle his voice suddenly is. "But he wasn't yours to take."</p><p>"Christie-"</p><p>"You'll see her again," Alak promises. "Her and your boys. You're going to see them soon."</p><p>Pilar's eyes focus on Alak for a moment, and she opens her mouth to say something, but no words come out. Instead, she makes a little gasping noise, and then she slumps and Irisa knows she's gone.</p><p>Alak brushes Pilar's eyes closed with shaking hands, then he stands. "My son," he says, looking to Berlin. "Can I-"</p><p>Berlin passes him Luke immediately, and Alak buries his face in his son's hair, ignoring the blood all over both of them. "My boy," he whispers. "My son. I've got you. You're safe."</p><p>Irisa steps forward, putting a hand on Alak's shoulder. "We're all safe," she says. "We're safe. It's over."</p><p>Alak looks up at her, relief in his eyes. "It's over."</p>
<hr/><p>The apartment is a disaster. Between the fire damage and the water damage, it's hardly even livable. Berlin pokes at a charred mess that she thinks might have once been one of their chairs and sighs. This is going to take a long time to clean up.</p><p>"Hey," a voice says from the doorway. Berlin looks up to see Alak standing there, Luke on his hip. They're both cleaned up and no longer covered in Pilar's blood, so unless you managed to catch the slightly strained look in Alak's eyes, you might not know that anything had happened at all.</p><p>"Hey," Berlin replies. "Did you forget something here? Because you're probably not getting it back in one piece."</p><p>"No," Alak replies, shaking his head quickly. "No, I- I wanted to offer you and Irisa something."</p><p>"What is it?" Irisa asks, stepping out of the bedroom. She looks over at Berlin and adds, "The damage isn't too bad back there, so I think we can salvage a lot of the stuff."</p><p>Alak shifts Luke's weight slightly. "I was wondering… Well, it's kind of my fault that your place got trashed, so I thought maybe, if you wanted to, you guys could come stay with me instead."</p><p>Berlin and Irisa share a quick look. "It'll probably take a while to make this place livable again," Irisa says. "It would be nice to have another place to stay while we're cleaning up."</p><p>"You could also just leave here and move into my place," Alak replies. "If you want to. I mean, I've got the space, and it's not like I'm using most of it."</p><p>"Are you offering to have us move in with you?" Berlin asks.</p><p>"Only if you guys want to," Alak replies. "If you just want to stay at my place for a while and then move back into your apartment when it's ready, that's fine too. Or you don't have to stay at my place at all, if you don't want to. It's your choice, obviously."</p><p>"What's the rent like?" Irisa asks jokingly.</p><p>"Nothing," Alak replies immediately. "I own the house already. You don't need to pay me anything to live there."</p><p>"So you're offering to let us stay at your place indefinitely for free?" Irisa asks.</p><p>"If you guys want to."</p><p>Irisa looks at Berlin, a question in her eyes. Berlin nods.</p><p>"Sounds good to me, then," Irisa says. "We'll have to borrow a roller to bring our stuff over. Do you think Maria will let us borrow hers for the day?"</p><p>"She did say she owed us a favor," Berlin replies. "You could ask."</p><p>"You really want to stay?" Alak asks. His face doesn't quite <em>brighten</em>, but he relaxes a little, like he's let go of some of the tension he holds. Berlin is glad to see it.</p><p>"We really want to stay," Irisa replies. "Your place is amazing, Alak. And this lets me spend more time with my best friend, Luke."</p><p>Luke burbles quietly, apparently recognizing his name. Irisa laughs. "Yes, you're my best friend," she coos. "Are we gonna play all the time once I move into your house? You bet we are!"</p><p>"I'm sure Luke will enjoy that," Alak replies, smiling down at his son.</p><p>"I'll go ask Maria about the roller," Irisa replies. "Maybe we can ask to borrow it tomorrow? Do you think we'll be ready to move stuff out tomorrow?"</p><p>"I think we can be ready tomorrow," Berlin agrees.</p><p>"Sounds good, then." Irisa leans down to give Luke a quick kiss, then she heads out. Alak stands in the doorway, looking a little uncomfortable.</p><p>"Do you really want to stay at my place?" he asks. "If you don't want to, that's okay. I won't be offended or anything. It's not like we really know each other that well, so…"</p><p>"We can get to know each other better, then," Berlin says. "I'd like to stay at your place if you really want us there."</p><p>"I do," Alak says, nodding.</p><p>"Then I'll stay."</p><p>Alak looks quietly pleased. Berlin folds an only mildly singed blanket in silence, then asks, "How are you doing?"</p><p>Alak's gaze snaps up to hers. "What do you mean?"</p><p>"Exactly what I asked," Berlin replies. "You killed Pilar. She deserved it, but that doesn't always make it easier. How are you doing?"</p><p>Alak's gaze drops back down again. "I'm… okay. Pilar was… I was so afraid of her for so long, and she was awful, but in the end… I wish there was another way, but I don't think there was. Does that make any sense?"</p><p>"It does," Berlin says quietly. She's never quite been in Alak's situation before, but she's been in similar ones, and she knows the feeling well. Sometimes, there's no good option, so you just have to take the one you think is best.</p><p>"I wish things could have been different," Alak says quietly. "We both loved Christie. We both missed her. I wish…"</p><p>"I know," Berlin says quietly when Alak doesn't continue. "But for what it's worth? I think Christie would think you did the right thing."</p><p>Alak nods. "I do too."</p><p>Irisa bursts in, looking pleased with herself. "Maria will loan us her roller tomorrow, so we can move in. Do you mind if we sleep at your place tonight too, Alak?"</p><p>"Of course not," Alak replies. "The sooner the better."</p><p>Irisa looks over at Berlin. "Let's go pack overnight bags, then."</p><p>Packing overnight bags mostly consists of shoving a few things into duffels, so it doesn't take too long for Berlin and Irisa to be packed. Alak waits by the door with Luke, bouncing him lightly on his hip and talking to him in a murmur too quiet to make out. Berlin thinks she'll be able to get used to hearing that every day. She thinks she'll like it.</p><p>"You're okay with this, right?" Irisa asks quietly. "You weren't just agreeing because you could tell I wanted it?"</p><p>"I want it too," Berlin replies. "Let's go check out our new home."</p><p>Irisa grins, and the two of them head out to the front door. "Ready to go, Alak?" Irisa asks.</p><p>"Ready when you are," Alak replies with a smile.</p><p>They walk together out the door, and Berlin smiles to herself as she locks it behind them. None of them were alone before, not exactly, but she's pretty sure they were all lonely in their own way. But now?</p><p>Now, she doesn't think that's going to be a problem anymore.</p><p>"You coming, Berlin?" Irisa calls over her shoulder.</p><p>"Yeah," Berlin agrees, stepping away from the apartment and jogging to catch up to her new family, "I'm coming."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>My writing tumblr is <a href="http://winterskywrites.tumblr.com/">here</a>, if you're interested.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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